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A View from the Altar / Woo-oom, bump!
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Woo-oom, bump!

We were watching a movie with the kids late one night when we started hearing a rhythmic sound like woo-oom, bump!  Woo-oom, bump!

Eventually one of the kids said, “Mama, what’s that sound?”  Mama was sure she didn’t know, but the woo-oom, bump! continued.

Presently the outside motion detecting light came on, meaning somebody was approaching the door.  Women’s voices were raised, and we could hear excitedly rapid yakking before they started pounding rapidly on the door.  As I got up to answer the knocking, I heard one of the women shouting, “Caw de law!  Caw de law!”  Translation: Phone the sheriff’s office.

When I opened the door, two women from the red neck domicile across the highway began shouting over each other, “Johnny done gone crazy!  Caw de law!”

“What’s he doing?” I asked.

“He’s trying to knock our trailer house off the blocks with his truck!”

I stepped out on the porch where I could see.  There was Johnny’s dilapidated pickup truck backing away from their trailer house a few feet, then gunning the motor he’d run forward and hit it broadside.  I could see he was hitting it gently, however.  The trailer was blocked up pretty high, so it was just the hood of the truck hitting the floor of their trailer. He didn’t really want to smash his hood.  He just wanted to scare his womenfolk.  It’s what rednecks do.  It was working.  They were bug-eyed scared.  Woo-oom, bump!  Woo-oom, bump!

So I called 911 for them.  The women, too afraid to go home, waited at my house until a deputy came.  By then Johnny had stopped thumping the trailer house and returned to his own house which was in the same yard.  The women followed the deputy back across the highway.  Wouldn’t love to have his job?

otherbrothersteve@gmail.com

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