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A View from the Altar / Bro. Steve sojourns in the wasteland
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Bro. Steve sojourns in the wasteland

My household doesn’t get TeeVee.  Years ago Mrs. Reed and I concluded it encouraged shoddy morals and wasting time.  However, on vacation last week we stayed in motels where TeeVee is inescapable, and we saw plenty.  It’s in the breakfast room, the exercise machine room, in the lobby, in the guest rooms, you name it.

After a week of seeing Hollywood strut its stuff, here are my conclusions:

1.  Erectile dysfunction and not H1N1 flu is the real pandemic.  Every other advertisement is for some kind of product targeted at men’s privy members, even some kind of cholesterol medication.

2.  Script writers do not understand the difference between actual funny-ha-ha humor and a surprised reaction evoked by crudeness and shock.  One example would be the dismal, comedienne-fail in the Midol ad yelling something about her uterus falling out.  This is a gross, nasty woman looking for the cheap reaction you can get from public indecency.  You see the same reaction at the zoo when an ape hits somebody with a turd.  Attagirl, Midol!  You have hit us all with an ape turd.  Now go back to your cage, please.

3.  Script writers are not permitted to say something about nature unless they mention the Big Bang.

4.  Modern cartoons are bizarre and laden with stunningly idiotic philosophy.

5.  It is virtually impossible to find a prime time TeeVee show that doesn’t include cussing and junior high school level sexual references.  If one were to judge script writers and actors by their work, one would conclude they are the most poorly educated, low-brow, sexually disappointed class of people in the history of the planet, or as they might say, since the Big Bang.

6.  Daytime TeeVee consists entirely of two alternating themes: fornicate and quarrel.

I’ll check back in another twenty years and see if it’s gotten better.  (Ha!  Now that’s funny!)

otherbrothersteve@gmail.com

2 Comments

  1. For a couple months growing up, we had satelite. For these reasons, we got it cut off and still don’t. I really wish there was a decent comedy that wasn’t crude.

    Posted on 19-Jun-09 at 20:05 pm | Permalink
  2. I’m glad you’ve returned from the wasteland… it’s amazing the things you can observe when TV is not a constant IV.

    Posted on 22-Jun-09 at 23:09 pm | Permalink

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